[ Man ] Previously on Hercules.
Temptation comes to everyone sooner or later, lolaus.
Although you were led astray, you are and always have been...
a servant of the Light,
and so you have earned your place in it.
I have come to take you home.
Good-bye, lolaus.
[ Speaking Latin ]
[ Screaming ] [ Michael Continues Speaking Latin ]
lolaus! [ Gasps ]
Please help me! They're gonna hurt my sister!
[ Panting ] Your sister?
[ Exhales ] Sure. Yeah.
Come on! I'll be right behind you.
Whoa. No more stewed possum for me. Whew!
We beseech you, mighty God of War,
accept our offering of flesh and blood...
to assure our victory in the coming battle.
- [ Woman ] Ares, save us! - [ Man ] Kill the virgin!
[ Grunts ]
[ Continues Grunting ]
Huh? Hi.
I'll take it from here.
- [ Yells ] - [ Gasping ]
How dare you!
Believe me. It wasn't that hard.
What is wrong with you people?
War requires sacrifice, Hercules.
They're trying to save their sons if this war can be averted.
By killing their daughters?
If you really want to save lives, sit down with your enemy...
and work out a peace you can all live with.
Save your preaching for the faithful.
You may have no respect for the gods, but we can't afford not to.
I can see that. Excuse me.
If you're thinking about buying Ares' good grace, think again.
He doesn't have any.
Take your money back. Please?
Well, you've assured our defeat. Congratulations.
That's mine! That's not yours!
[ lolaus ] Hercules!
Need your help.
End...
of the world.
Definitely no more possum stew.
[ Man Narrating ] This is the story of a time long ago,
a time of myth and legend,
when the ancient gods were petty and cruel,
and they plagued mankind with suffering.
Only one man dared to challenge their power...
Hercules.
Hercules possessed a strength the world had never seen,
a strength surpassed only by the power of his heart.
He journeyed the earth, battling the minions of his wicked stepmother, Hera,
the all-powerful queen of the gods.
But wherever there was evil,
wherever an innocent would suffer,
there would be... Hercules.
- [ Screeching ] - [ Roaring ]
Hail!
I owe you my life, Hercules.
It's your sister you should thank. She brought me here.
I've been raising Mia since she was born.
Our parents were killed in the Trojan War.
From what I can tell, you've done a great job in raising her.
Thanks, Hercules. You're welcome.
We should get going now.
Yeah. Bye.
See you, Hercules! Bye-bye.
Be safe.
Hi.
Mmm. Virgins. Gotta love 'em.
And I mean that.
Oh, goody. Now my day's complete.
I thought you'd outgrown virgin sacrifices.
What can I say? I'm a child at heart.
The truth is, I didn't ask for this.
Mortals have been kinda irritable lately.
I don't know what's gotten into them, but I'm not the kind to look a gift horse in the mouth.
You didn't start all this? No, they're doing it all on their own.
And I think they could go all the way. I am so proud.
Enjoy it while it lasts, 'cause I'm about to stop it.
Well, that's new.
Mmm?
[ Sighs ]
Hercules!
- [ Mutters ] Great. - [ Laughing ]
Hey, Falafel. Wow. It's nice to see a familiar face.
Speaking of which, can I interest you in a fun mirror?
I'd love to, but I kinda have a war to stop before it starts.
Tell me about it. Food rations forced me to give up my stand.
- And that's a bad thing, right? - Hmm?
[ Both Laughing ]
Try this.
I look like a Cyclops.
See? You're having fun already!
Yes, I am. Now, wait till you see this.
Try this one. Yeah.
The Peloponnesian Plains.
N- No time!
Is something wrong?
I'm sorry, Falafel, but this isn't my idea of fun.
Special discounts for valued customers!
[ Speaking Latin ]
[ Continues In Latin ]
[ Roaring ]
My people are demanding war.
As are mine.
We are kings, you and I.
We must do what's best for our people,
even at the risk of our own popularity.
Agreed. Let's meet at sundown to negotiate.
Can we trust them, my lord?
I imagine they're asking themselves the same question.
The king! What's happened?
Shoot! Over there! Kill them. [ Groans ]
No!
- Charge! - [ Soldiers Shouting ]
Charge! [ Soldiers Shouting ]
I had this battleground scheduled for next week.
Looks like the locals have gone proactive on me.
Aah! Oh, now,that...
is what I call a healthy exchange of ideas!
Yes! Author! Author! [ Chortling ]
Hey, hey, people! Energy! Focus! Work with me here!
[ lolaus ] Hercules!
Going to get... worse.
Help me.
Okay, now I know I'm not imagining that.
Help me.
[ Grunting ]
Hi, buddy.
[ Grunts ] Whoa!
Wh... Who are you?
Hercules, it's me! [ Stammering ]
Don't touch me. Wait, it's me!
It's lolaus! It's me!
- lolaus? - Yeah! I'm back!
Really? Yeah, really! This is me, Hercules!
It's me! It's lolaus?
Yeah! [ Laughing ]
[ Both Laughing ]
Buddy! Look at you!
Wait. W- W-W-W-Wait, wait, wait!
How could... This can't be possible.
I - I know. It's kind of hard to understand.
But, Hercules, I'm back.
I mean, I'm not completely back. There is... But I'm back.
And I'm not, "I'm gonna kill you" or anything like that.
It's really me, and I'm here!
Well, you act like you're lolaus.
It's 'cause I am the lolaus you know. Look! Hey! Whoo!
Hello, little buddy! Hey! It's me!
Even if I am hallucinating, it sure is good to see you again!
You too! lolaus.
But how?
Uh... you better sit down, Hercules.
Um, I... [ Sighs ]
You know, I wish I could explain this to you,
tell you about where I've been.
It's like I...
I didn't realize before that there was so much more beyond our world.
I mean, beyond what we can even imagine.
- Sounds great. - No!
No, no, no, no. It's better than great.
It's like I have been living in a perfect light.
You know, the only word I can use to describe it is, uh...
bliss.
Wow. Yeah.
Uh-oh.
- Uh-oh? - What?
What what? You said "uh-oh. " When you say "uh-oh," it usually means trouble.
I said "uh-oh" because you wouldn't have come back if there wasn't trouble.
- Have you ever been wrong? - I thought so once, but I was wrong.
Right.
Hercules, there's something you'd better see.
Uh-oh.
It's one of the four seals.
The four seals? Yeah.
See, um, the Light has Guardians.
Uh, in fact, I'm one of them now.
You? Yeah.
Really? Yeah.
This is a good thing, right?
Well, originally there were four,
but, uh, when the Light decided to invite others into the club, so to speak,
the first four, they turned against him.
So they didn't like to share. No kidding.
And, anyway, these, uh...
these Four Horsemen carry the four plagues of Armageddon,
which would be, oh, you know, pestilence, war, famine and...
death.
See, at first the Light had them all imprisoned so no harm would come to the world.
And now someone's setting them free.
Yeah, a, uh, a Guardian of the Light.
And every time he breaks a seal, another Horseman is released.
Along with another plague.
Well, if all four are released...
[ Sighs ]
They'll have enough power to destroy mankind.
Correct.
Kill me.
The tracks go this way. Yeah, looks like Michael's got a head start.
[ Laughing ]
Well, well. The dynamic duo are together again.
Wait. Aren't you dead?
[ Gasping ] He's just visiting.
Why don't you be annoying someplace else?
[ Chuckles ] Lucky for you I'm in a good mood, little brother.
War's on an all-time high; greed and hatred are running rampant.
I don't know what's going on, but I love it!
Hyah! Moo...
He shoots, he kills! That was a cow.
Udder destruction.
At least he's having fun.
Fun? Oh, this is way past fun. This is bliss.
I've never felt so alive.
If this keeps up, I can pay back Dad for all the spankings he's given me.
As usual, Ares, you're lost in your own delusions of grandeur.
Yeah? Well, you're a hypocrite. Hypocrite?
- What? - That's right, pretty boy.
Always getting bent out of shape when the gods interfere with humanity.
Well, this time I got nothing to do with what's going on around here,
and you're the one interfering.
[ Chuckles ] I don't have time for this conversation.
- The world's about to end, and we have work to do. - Whoa, whoa.
The world is about to end?
That's right.
- You're bluffing. - Okay, I'm bluffing. See ya.
Boy. Poor Ares. Have to work it out for himself.
I guess so, but in a way I envy him. Envy him?
Sure. I mean, ignorance is bliss.
I hate when they do that.
Yaaah!
Show me the mark.
We have company.
Deal with them, and be quick about it.
I wanted to ask you... I just wanted...
You first. No, no, after you.
[ Chuckles ] Uh, you know, I- I-I know you...
you said you'd forgiven me...
for what happened with Dahak.
lolaus, I didn't just say it. I meant it.
The last thing I want is for you to beat yourself up...
over something that wasn't your fault... it's ancient history.
I'm just... I'm just glad to see you again.
Hercules, I have to tell you something.
Uh-oh.
Yeah, uh-oh.
I- I can't stay.
When this is over, I have to go back.
Because?
Because I didn't exactly get a leave of absence to come here, you know.
I- I kinda snuck out.
We're not allowed to do that.
Technically speaking, we're not supposed to get involved with people.
Oh, come on. Nobody ever follows that policy.
Yeah, but these guys are... [ Shudders ]
Yeah.
So, how long before you have to go back?
Well, it's only a matter of time before they figure out I'm gone.
Wow. Yeah.
I wish I could stay, Hercules. Really, I do.
I know I made it out to be kinda perfect, being a Guardian of the Light and all.
But, well, the truth is, they don't have everything.
There's no fishing trips, no women, no monsters to fight.
No women.
[ Chuckles ] Yeah.
I know it...
It hasn't been the same without you down here either.
By the way... What?
Duck. Huh?
- [ Roars ] - Aah!
A friend of yours?
Uh, we haven't been formally introduced.
[ Continues Roaring ]
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Whoa, he sure has a serious ax to grind. [ Giggles ] Funny.
You sure he missed us? Yeah, I'm sure.
Okay, you know the routine. Okay.
- [ Grunts ] - [ Yells ]
- Whoops. Too high. - [ lolaus ] Hercules!
- [ Groans ] - [ lolaus Continues Yelling ]
- [ Groans ] - Works every time.
Wow. That's a little high.
- That's what I call turning the other cheek. - Hyah!
I got him... Aah!
I got him!
Nice try.
Hyah!
[ Roaring, Groaning ]
War. [ Grunts ]
What's it good for? Absolutely nothin'.
[ Panting, Sighing ]
Hey, uh, a little high on the throw, I thought. I was way up there.
[ Speaking Latin ]
[ Shrieking, Roaring ]
You bought me all the time I needed.
[ lolaus ] The Second Horseman's been released.
And that would be famine.
Keep back! [ Woman ] You've got more than enough!
This is my food! I'm starving! [ All Shouting ]
Come back here! Come back here!
- Please, sir... - Keep back!
- I don't need much, just enough for my little sister. - Keep back, or I'll cut ya!
Didn't your mother tell you never to play with knives?
- Let me go. - That's a good idea. Why don't you go?
[ Onlookers Shouting ]
Hey, hey, hey!
We're doing everything we can to stop this.
But you have to look out for each other, especially now.
Please, whatever you have, just... share.
Here. Thank you.
And you? Yes.
Are you all right? Yes. But there's no food left.
Here. Thank you.
- We're running out of time. - What's going on, Hercules?
Hopefully I'll have time to explain later.
But for now, you two just stay indoors and be careful.
Go on. Okay.
We've gotta stop Michael. It's easier said than done.
He's more powerful than anything we've been up against.
Set me straight on something.
Michael's a Guardian of the Light, right? Right.
And the Light banished the Four Horsemen from Earth. Yeah.
So why would he betray the Light by releasing them again?
He didn't betray the Light.
The Light sent him here.
I thought it wanted to keep the forces locked away.
Well, at first it did, but...
the Light is not too happy with what's been going on around here.
Well, look around, Hercules.
You know, people have changed.
There hasn't been a night in over a thousand winters...
that someone hasn't been murdered or robbed or beaten.
And believe me, someone is keeping track.
And this same someone...
has come to the conclusion that it's better to destroy everything?
Well, it depends on how you look at it.
You could say we're starting over.
Whose side are you on, lolaus?
[ Sighs ] I came back to warn you, didn't I?
Yeah.
The hungry usually make the best warriors.
But thestarving can't even hold up a sword!
We don't have time for your puppet show, Ares.
Look, I had a pretty nice little war going here,
then someone started messing with the food.
- You and your little playmate know who it is. I want names. - [ Whispers ] "Playmate"?
Gee, lolaus, sounds to me like Ares is asking for our help.
No! Really? Yeah!
See, what I'm saying is,
when I find whoever's responsible for taking the food out of my soldiers' mouths,
I'm gonna get him, see,
I'm gonna rip his head off,
reach down his throat and pull out...
Where did you get all this hostility? He was born that way. Sad.
Enough! [ Yells ]
I want names!
Well, you're not gonna be able to miss Michael.
He's not exactly from here.
Michael? Cool. Let's go.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. You're not doing anything. You understand?
- You don't want my help? - Not only do I not want your help, I don't need it.
Have you forgotten who you're talking to?
You are talking to Ares, God of War, and I have spoken!
- Oh, boy. - You want a fight?
Well, you've come to the right place. Yeah.
Living in his own little world.
Mmm.
For the first time in my life, I can actually say I'm worried about him.
Hmm.
Show me the mark.
Boys, it's time to crack open a barrel of whup-ass.
Destroy them.
Charge! [ Yelling ]
So that's how you wanna play it, huh?
[ Grunts ]
[ Yells, Groans ]
[ Growling ]
Et tu,War?
[ Speaking Latin ]
[ Shrieking ]
[ Growling ]
[ Horse Whinnies ]
Aaah!
[ Gagging ]
[ Screaming, Yelling ]
[ Screams ]
Boy, this is bad. If Death gets released, it's all over.
If it wasn't the end of the world, this'd be a nice vacation spot.
Your sense of humor has gotten pretty nihilistic lately, don't you think?
Yeah... What's "nihilistic"?
[ Thunderclap ]
Ares.
Looks like we're gonna have to do this the old-fashioned way.
You will not prevail, godling. Spare yourself the humiliation.
Oh, I will,
just as soon as you kiss my ax!
I warned you.
[ Yelling ]
[ Exhales ]
It's quiet.
It's too quiet.
[ Ares Yelling ]
[ Groans ]
Aah!
Oh, yeah! Now I'm startin' to get angry!
[ Moans ]
You are interfering in something that does not concern you.
I can say the same for you.
Understand this:
You are an insect...
caught in the path of a hurricane.
You have no power to stop it,
and no shelter can protect you.
Such is the way of things.
Then you have nothing to worry about, so you can go about your business and I'll go about mine.
lolaus.
[ Sighs ]
You have violated a sacred trust...
by warning a mortal of the Reckoning,
and you will atone.
Oh, I hate atoning.
Excuse me, but I'm only half mortal.
Yeah, he has a good point.
Mankind has squandered its gifts.
Time and time again, it has chosen to turn its back upon the Light.
And so the time has come to purify the world.
I am not going to let you punish everyone for the crimes of a few.
We cannot be defeated,
not even by one of your strength.
Our success is preordained.
You need not concern yourself, Hercules.
Your place in the realm of the Light has already been assured.
But if you continue to pursue this futile quest,
you'll be forever banished into darkness.
Is that supposed to be a threat or a bribe? It was both.
Mm-hmm.
My place is among people.
I wouldn't want to be a part of anything that didn't understand how important they are.
Your faith is misplaced.
I don't think so.
But it's a faith I'm willing to die for.
And you will.
Yeah.
There's only one Horseman left. Death.
And if he gets loose... He won't.
When I get my hands on that holy freak, it's... Aaah! Aaah!
[ Sighs ] Do the world a favor, Ares... go home.
Hey, you can't beat Michael and his little friends without me, and you know it.
And what, exactly, do you bring to the table?
Good looks?
Look, I'll consider this if... onlyif...
you're willing to work together as a team.
I'm the God of War. I'm not supposed to be a team player.
But I don't want the world to end any more than you do.
- Then we do this my way. - Whatever it takes to stop Michael.
- Where's he headed? - After the last seal.
Could be anywhere. Maybe not.
Huh?
War was imprisoned in earth. Famine, in water.
Pestilence, in the air. Brilliant!
So what?
My brother... a genius.
There's only one element missing.
Show me the mark.
Hercules.
Our adversary is living up to his reputation.
[ Horses Whinnying ]
He cannot be allowed to interfere.
- Go! - [ Horsemen Roaring ]
[ Roaring Continues ]
You looking for us?
Those two generals you toasted... they're my favorites.
Do I smell... rematch?
Yeah!
- [ Horses Whinnying ] - [ Grunting, Shouting ]
Any more ideas? Running's good!
[ Speaking Latin ]
And so it ends.
You got that right.
But not in your favor.
[ Yells, Groans ]
Oh!
Weigh your decision carefully, Hercules.
It will determine your destiny.
I wouldn't have it any other way.
[ Yells, Groans ]
Now that I'm warmed up...
Remind me again why I'm doing this.
Gotta buy Hercules some more time.
That bought us about three seconds.
[ Roaring Continues ]
Uh-oh. Uh-oh?
Yeah. See, when I say "uh-oh," it means...
Forget it. Come on. Again with the running.
Why are you fighting, Hercules?
This is a choice mankind's made for itself.
Funny, I'm one of them, and I don't remember making that choice.
You are blind, Hercules.
Look at what your precious humanity has become.
[ All Screaming ]
The Day of Reckoning is at hand.
And who's gonna judge you, Michael?
[ Grunting ]
Boy, I am way out of my league.
Ohh!
[ Horse Whinnying ]
No!
[ Shrieks ]
Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh.
Start with the traitor.
[ Growling ] [ Horse Whinnying ]
Over my dead body.
[ Yelling ]
[ Grunting ]
[ Screaming ]
Hercules.
Where am I?
Congratulations, Hercules.
You have succeeded in your challenge.
According to the law of the Light,
if one man is willing to sacrifice himself,
then there is hope for all humanity.
This was all a test?
Thanks to you, the world has earned another chance.
Thanks to me.
lolaus risked his soul to warn me.
What doesthat tell you about people?
Your humility seems to know no bounds.
But your point is well taken.
Hercules!
Are you alive?
Maybe not.
Beyond your sacrifice,
it was your friendship that renewed the Light's faith in humanity.
The world would be a far better place...
if everyone held such respect for their fellow man.
While I would prefer to add you to our ranks of valiant warriors, Hercules,
you will better serve the Light's will by returning to Earth...
and continuing to lead by example.
There you go, old buddy. I always said the world needs you.
And you, lolaus.
- Your betrayal of the Light comes at a high price. - Uh-oh.
You are expelled from this realm and condemned...
[ Groans ]
to continue your life at Hercules's side.
Oh, man.
Wait a minute.
You're sending me back?
You will have another chance at life.
But remember,
in the end you will be judged a second time.
So it is,
and so it shall be.
Michael.
Thanks.
[ People Chattering ]
Are we where I think we are?
It looks like it.
[ Chuckles ] Hey.
[ Both Laughing ] Welcome back, buddy!
Thanks, Herc! I can't believe you brought me back.
Oh, no, no, no. You did this yourself. Don't blame it on me.
Hey, I'm back. I mean, I'm back!
I'm back! I'm back! Yaa-haah!
I'm back, everybody!
dddd [ Singing ] lolaus! lolaus, lolaus.
It's... It's okay. You're starting to scare people.
Am I scaring you? Oh, no! Not at all!
Didn't mean to interrupt your fuzzy little moment, but I wanted to, um...
[ Clears Throat ]
Guess what I'm trying to say is, um...
You came back to say... thank you?
[ Chuckles ] Yeah, right.
No, I just wanted to make sure that none of my toys got broken.
Yeah, sure. Sure you did.
[ Sighs ] Well, I...
hate to admit this myself, but...
you finally kept your word for once, Ares.
Thanks.
This changes nothing.
[ Whispers ] Nothing!
'Cause I am still the king of combat! Yeah!
Ares. Delusional.
Multi-delusional. Hercules!
Hey! Penelope! Mia!
Place looks better than last time, huh?
Whatever you did, it sure worked magic.
These are for you, in case you get hungry on the road.
How 'bout them apples? Thanks, Penelope.
- Bye. - Bye, Hercules.
Mmm! See ya.
Hercules, I forgot what it was like to be hungry.
Knock yourself out. Thanks, Herc.
You're welcome.
Where we gonna go now? Anywhere you want, buddy. Anywhere at all.
Well, how about we go to Thrace? Thrace?
Oh, there you go. I got plenty now. Thank you.
I'm lolaus, by the way. Very nice to meet you. [ Woman ] Bye, lolaus!
Watch out. Oh! Oh, oh! Sorry! It's okay, it's okay.
I'm new to the place. [ Laughs ] I can't take you anywhere.
Hey, hey there! You're beautiful!
Closed-Captioned By Captions, Inc., Los Angeles